What does that mean exactly? I mean life is so uncertain, so how do you go about trusting such an irrational part of yourself. I’m in love and have been for awhile. But what do you do when that love is at a crossroads? What do you do when the only thing you are certain of, is in the most confusing state? Do I trust my heart then? Well my heart and mind agree but not at the same time. My heart is saying, NOW NOW NOW!!
but my mind is saying wait awhile, give it time so it can be right this time. But it’s so confusing because there is a blazing fire that burns between us mentally, physically, eternally but it needs air to grow or water to shut it down. The water is nowhere in sight, but there is plenty of air and kindle to keep the fire growing forever.
But the question remains, how do I trust my heart? My heart is so guarded, and damaged in some places by the same forever I am so sure of. This wouldn’t even be an issue if forever wasn’t feeling the same. Hell that only makes me more certain!! So what am I to do until things come to pass?
I am the first to admit that I am no religious, bible thumper but when God speaks to me I do listen. Well speak to me because my heart is telling me to stay open to it. Is this you telling me this or am I just manifesting what my heart truly desires? Some guidance please! For now all I can do give it up to God and TRULY surrender this to him. but for my imperfect self I find myself begging for answers, and wanting so badly to do it myself. But I wait, humbly. So am I going to trust my heart, well yes! Because God is the protector of my heart and I faithfully believe that he won’t allow anything or anyone there who doesn’t belong. But it is a struggle, so I pray until then.
It amazes me to see how I felt seeing as how I feel so different now. Time can be a wonderful thing even when you can't appreciate it at that moment. I am grateful to no longer be held by these emotions and while they still remind me of a hurtful time, I know I am better than I was! Thank God for Time
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