Hey you,
No I don't know who you are yet but its cool. I must admit that I wonder what you look, smell, and sound like. But most of all I wonder will you be crazy about me. Will you laugh at my jokes or be offended by them? Will you lay with me on a Saturday night watching movies and wisecracking or will you put your boys before me? Don't get me wrong, I want you to feel free to hang with the fellas but not to the expense of us. I wonder what will you do constantly that urkes me. That one thing that will drive me crazy but I won't be able to live without. I wonder.
Funny thing is I used to feel hurried to meet you like there was some deadline on our tomorrow. But now I realize that going with the flow will lead you to me and I to you. Although it would be great if you showed yourself sooner rather than later, don't worry. I'm on chill and I'll be here. You won't have to worry about whose touching, rubbing, and sexing what belongs to you because I'll keep it wrapped tight. Anyone from my past, will stay right there unable to disrupt our future.
And yeah I have a list of things I want from you but you'll already be that and/or ready to become that. So instead here's what I promise to be for you. I promise to be faithful, loyal, always have your back, honest, make you laugh when you feel like crying, listen with both ears, compromise, be understanding, and know when I've said enough. I also promise to be a lady when we're out but a freak when we're alone. I'll fulfill my role as a woman to you because I know you'll fulfill your role as a man to me. I promise to never make you feel less than what you are, never disrespect you, and show humility when I'm wrong while never boasting when I'm right...unless its about football LOL. I promise to always be strong without overpowering you. And most importantly, I'll be ready for a new adventures and learning new things with you.
Well I don't want to give it all away, but I did want to let you know. I was thinking about you before I even met you. Even if it were only for a moment.
Later babes
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Just sharing some common sense...that's not so common
I've been on this planet 29 years so far and began living life at a very early age. I had to mature faster than most my age and that leaves me in a lonely "learn for yourself" spot in a lot of cases. But here's a few things that I've learned that can hopefully help someone else to not make the same mistakes I've made.
First, when your mind says leave and your heart says stay...LEAVE! Your mind is more rational and while your heart is more impulsive and optimistic in the most grim situations. A lot of times, your heart is the reason for your demise because your emotions outweighed your common sense. God gave you common sense for one reason and one reason only. TO USE IT! So don't ignore those warning signs that are blaring in bright red lights. You'll save yourself some time, major depression, and heartache.
It's easy to blame others for hurting you but you have to be accountable for how you let others affect you as well. You can't simply place the blame on someone for being who they are and doing what they normally do if you knew and stayed to be on the receiving end of it. You always have the choice and instead of thinking it'll change if you wait a little longer, love a little harder, or give a little more, use that common sense in your head and do whats best for YOU. It's not always the easy road and I can attest to that but think about it this way. The longer you stay in an unhealthy situation, the more damage you incur therefore the more costly (time spent) to repair what's been done. Also keeping in mind that somethings can't be undone.
Secondly, say or ask what's on your mind. Why hold all these questions in thinking you already know what they're going to say? Did you ever think that you might be WRONG. This is a lesson that was, for me, the hardest to learn which is surprising considering how outspoken I can be. I always hate the uncomfortable questions because I tend to fear the response not being in my favor. And I hate that even more. But the fact is, the truth is the truth and you can't get away from it so get it straight from the source. Once you know, you feel a lot better about yourself and your situation because you have a better idea of what's happening and what's next.
Don't make yourself into the know-it-all and later find out you were wrong. Sometimes the courage to ask or say the most uncomfortable prompts people to have to make a decision. This also levels the playing field so both parties involved know whats going on at that moment and what to expect. I think of it like this, I wouldn't let a surgeon operate on me in a dark room so why would I hand over my heart in one.
Third, don't sit around waiting on someone to become the person you want them to be. All you'll have to show for it is time spent. People need room to grow and sometimes what a person needs is for you to not crowd their space. Hell even the distance helps because they get to see how life is without you and if that's how they want to keep it. I have yet to see the monkey that stopped the show. So I say date multiple people (DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE!) That way you're not sitting around waiting for the phone to ring and you're also giving yourself a chance to see what's out there. Hell the person you WANT the most might not be the person you NEED the most....who will turn into the person you want anyway. See keep your eyes and ears open while only opening your mouth enough to find out the information you need to make decisions. Funny thing when you shut up and listen, you learn things. People always want to share their story, so let them. They just might save you some valuable time.
Fourth, and I'm making this my last one for now for the purposes of length. Don't be afraid to start over. We spend time in situations that leave us heartbroken and confused. Then someone who might actually be decent comes around and our fear prevents us from giving them a fair chance. You miss out on a lot being afraid. Now I'm not saying be reckless and naive. Just be fearless and wise. You won't get it right all the time but that's why we try again. Those who fail over and over again eventually succeed. This is because they keep trying. They note where they went wrong the last time and make adjustments for the next time and eventually they get it right. Failure is apart of success and NO you can't just skip ahead to the succeeding part or else you won't know what to do with it.
In keeping number 4 in mind also be aware of your own faults. We all tend to think we're good women and good men but that doesn't make you perfect. And sometimes those imperfections are too much for someone else to bear. Yes, yes we all want to find someone to put up with our crap too but even that has its limits. So be prepared to make some changes and compromises within yourself because while imperfect you may be, you should also be tolerable.
That's all for now. Hope someone finds this helpful.
First, when your mind says leave and your heart says stay...LEAVE! Your mind is more rational and while your heart is more impulsive and optimistic in the most grim situations. A lot of times, your heart is the reason for your demise because your emotions outweighed your common sense. God gave you common sense for one reason and one reason only. TO USE IT! So don't ignore those warning signs that are blaring in bright red lights. You'll save yourself some time, major depression, and heartache.
It's easy to blame others for hurting you but you have to be accountable for how you let others affect you as well. You can't simply place the blame on someone for being who they are and doing what they normally do if you knew and stayed to be on the receiving end of it. You always have the choice and instead of thinking it'll change if you wait a little longer, love a little harder, or give a little more, use that common sense in your head and do whats best for YOU. It's not always the easy road and I can attest to that but think about it this way. The longer you stay in an unhealthy situation, the more damage you incur therefore the more costly (time spent) to repair what's been done. Also keeping in mind that somethings can't be undone.
Secondly, say or ask what's on your mind. Why hold all these questions in thinking you already know what they're going to say? Did you ever think that you might be WRONG. This is a lesson that was, for me, the hardest to learn which is surprising considering how outspoken I can be. I always hate the uncomfortable questions because I tend to fear the response not being in my favor. And I hate that even more. But the fact is, the truth is the truth and you can't get away from it so get it straight from the source. Once you know, you feel a lot better about yourself and your situation because you have a better idea of what's happening and what's next.
Don't make yourself into the know-it-all and later find out you were wrong. Sometimes the courage to ask or say the most uncomfortable prompts people to have to make a decision. This also levels the playing field so both parties involved know whats going on at that moment and what to expect. I think of it like this, I wouldn't let a surgeon operate on me in a dark room so why would I hand over my heart in one.
Third, don't sit around waiting on someone to become the person you want them to be. All you'll have to show for it is time spent. People need room to grow and sometimes what a person needs is for you to not crowd their space. Hell even the distance helps because they get to see how life is without you and if that's how they want to keep it. I have yet to see the monkey that stopped the show. So I say date multiple people (DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE!) That way you're not sitting around waiting for the phone to ring and you're also giving yourself a chance to see what's out there. Hell the person you WANT the most might not be the person you NEED the most....who will turn into the person you want anyway. See keep your eyes and ears open while only opening your mouth enough to find out the information you need to make decisions. Funny thing when you shut up and listen, you learn things. People always want to share their story, so let them. They just might save you some valuable time.
Fourth, and I'm making this my last one for now for the purposes of length. Don't be afraid to start over. We spend time in situations that leave us heartbroken and confused. Then someone who might actually be decent comes around and our fear prevents us from giving them a fair chance. You miss out on a lot being afraid. Now I'm not saying be reckless and naive. Just be fearless and wise. You won't get it right all the time but that's why we try again. Those who fail over and over again eventually succeed. This is because they keep trying. They note where they went wrong the last time and make adjustments for the next time and eventually they get it right. Failure is apart of success and NO you can't just skip ahead to the succeeding part or else you won't know what to do with it.
In keeping number 4 in mind also be aware of your own faults. We all tend to think we're good women and good men but that doesn't make you perfect. And sometimes those imperfections are too much for someone else to bear. Yes, yes we all want to find someone to put up with our crap too but even that has its limits. So be prepared to make some changes and compromises within yourself because while imperfect you may be, you should also be tolerable.
That's all for now. Hope someone finds this helpful.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Funny thing is
I know that we want the same things but I don't know if I'm past the betrayal. It was hard enough to get over the hurt which I managed to do but I can't say that I'm still not a little scorned. I trusted you more than I've trusted anyone and you not only let me down, you let me crash and burn....and then later you followed suit in your own trail of flames. Its hard to say if I'll ever be able to get past it as much as I'd like to. But its kind of hard to heal in such an infectious place.
This zone I reside in currently is not ideal. Its full of uncertainty, lies, deception, and people out to use/hurt/abuse you for their own selfish reasons. But somehow in the midst of it all I still manage to find a few prospects. Although they never seem to last.
I used to think my expectations were too high but then I remembered you. And how you wined and dined me regularly and how much you invested in me. Which is hindsight only confuses me more seeing as how you played so many games with my mind and heart that only a shell of a person remained. Funny how you were everything I wanted and everything I hated at the same time. I don't know how you managed to be this great contradiction in my life, my world, my heart. I don't know why I even entertain these notions when my senses have already entered a response to this query floating in my head.
I try so hard to not sound so tormented but its very hard because the fact is my fish are not swimming in the harmony right now and the water is so turbulent. While inside I'm screaming for balance, I know that's a long way off. That is, if I continue to dissuade myself from you. This is not an easy life.
This should be a testament to all for the things you do come with consequence. Consequences you may not want to or be willing to live with........I don't know where I'm going with this so I'm just going to leave it here.
This zone I reside in currently is not ideal. Its full of uncertainty, lies, deception, and people out to use/hurt/abuse you for their own selfish reasons. But somehow in the midst of it all I still manage to find a few prospects. Although they never seem to last.
I used to think my expectations were too high but then I remembered you. And how you wined and dined me regularly and how much you invested in me. Which is hindsight only confuses me more seeing as how you played so many games with my mind and heart that only a shell of a person remained. Funny how you were everything I wanted and everything I hated at the same time. I don't know how you managed to be this great contradiction in my life, my world, my heart. I don't know why I even entertain these notions when my senses have already entered a response to this query floating in my head.
I try so hard to not sound so tormented but its very hard because the fact is my fish are not swimming in the harmony right now and the water is so turbulent. While inside I'm screaming for balance, I know that's a long way off. That is, if I continue to dissuade myself from you. This is not an easy life.
This should be a testament to all for the things you do come with consequence. Consequences you may not want to or be willing to live with........I don't know where I'm going with this so I'm just going to leave it here.
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