So here's how I currently feel. Blank! I don't have any strong feelings for anyone anymore and I know what I want from the opposite sex although the seem incapable of producing. I don't care what anyone says, it IS hard being a single black woman ready for a relationship.
A friend told me to begin praying to ask God to send me my husband but I always felt God already knew what I wanted and was ready for so maybe it wasn't time for him to answer that prayer for me just yet despite my strong feelings on the matter. But nonetheless I'm going to try it.
Another friends aunt subscribed her to eHarmony and Match.com in attempts to boost and improve her love/date life. I'm beginning to think online romance may not be such a bad idea. You have nothing to lose and there's a vast array of single prospects at your finger tips. I don't know maybe I'll give it a try to see how it turns out.
But then I look around and realize not everyone is facing the same things. The more a woman has on her own, the fewer guys pay attention to her. I think this is out of fear of her emasculating him, or maybe her booty isn't as big as the girl who hits the club a few times a week and she doesn't have as much time to devote to stroking his ego as she has a career and lifestyle to maintain or improve. I wonder if he realizes that she is just waiting for someone to come and relieve her of some of these responsibilities to make her feel safe and kept (to a certain extent of course).
I wonder what do men think when they see me hauling a 50" inch flat screen into my truck with no help, or when they see me at home depot getting my painting or other DIY supplies. What are they thinking about me? Do I intimidate them? I always wonder why they look at me strange when I say I changed my tire or oil. I want to tell them I come from a family of women who were taught to fend for themselves just in case a man wasn't there to do it for them. My grandfather raised, for lack of a better term, Amazon women!
He instilled in us the importance of being women but also the importance of being strong. So while he said you need to cook, clean, and submit to the man of the house (not be a fool, 2 TOTALLY different things), he also taught us to lift heavy objects with your knees first, mow your own lawn, change your tire, oil, battery, and wiper blades, and do small home repairs. Now don't think for one second he had us doing this stuff because my Granddad was a real man. He recognized his daughters no longer had husbands and his granddaughter had no father so he stepped up and filled the position with pride. Up until his health began to fail him, he cut our lawns, pulled our garbage cans out for pickup, did our home repairs, and more. He was the best man I've ever known to this day.
Now back to this subject of dating. I ask men often; If you met a good woman today what would stop you from being with her? Kids, if so how many? Weight, if so how much and why not exercise WITH her? Not pretty enough, is she really that bad on the eyes? What detail would be the deal breaker? They all claim none of these but they turn right around and reject women constantly based on these criteria. One of my closest friends just recently got engaged for the new year. He is SOOO SEXY HANDSOME its ridiculous and he's got it going on to be honest. He completes his masters in architecture this summer. So his future is BRIGHT! But back to the engagement. The young lady to whom he is engaged is by most standards unattractive. She's chubby, skin is blotchy, and she is lacking in 'natural grace' so to speak. She also has twin girls. Well he's dated prettier model chicks in his past so our male friends can't understand why he's marrying her. And is in LOVE with her.
What they don't see is Chrissy is funny and a blast to be around, she can cook her ass off, she supports my friend's dreams and goals regardless of how unattainable they seem to others AND (check this little detail) she's just finished law school. She's domestic and career oriented all wrapped into one. Now the past model chicks he dated who aspired to be nothing or 'models', most of them didn't have jobs or lil piece of jobs, they spent like crazy on shit they couldn't afford (real or fake) just to impress people who could care less about them and they couldn't find time to support his dreams. They brought him down actually. His grades slipped, he partied too much instead of studying, and they could care less because they already knew they had no future so to hell with his.
Honestly he wasn't attracted to Chrissy at first, she was just cool to hang out with and she grew on him. That's when he realized what kind of woman she was. The other chicks just walked past in their freak um dresses and he was hooked like a fish. But if he didn't open his eyes soon enough, she could've been caught up by someone else and he would've been looking at the life he wanted instead of living it. Why do men do this? Great woman, slightly imperfect=passed over, whereas Cute face/figure=automatic attraction.
This is why dating is so hard. Myself, I'm pretty, smart, career and goal oriented, domestic, live well, and I'm a mother. I get looked over too. No I AM NOT PERFECT AND WILL NEVER CLAIM TO BE. But I know I'm a helluva catch yet, the fishermen don't bait me and the ones that do usually cause me to jump back over the side of the boat LOL!
I know I have a point here and I know this is common but my question is Why?
