So here I am, thinking. Just thinking why is life so different for women? Why is that in order to reach certain levels of success you have to choose between that or love? So as I mentioned I've been thinking. Thinking that if I am forced to choose, what will I pick? A life without love, no companion to kiss you goodbye. No steady person to make love to and explore you deepest freakiest pleasures and fall asleep in each others arms. Love. No LOVE to lie to you and cheat on you and transform you into someone you don't recognize most of the time. Love who can distract you from work, school and other important things in your life. Love that has you forsake all others while they invite them into your lives behind your back. Love, is great when it's good, but is earth-shattering when it goes wrong.
Then I weigh life without the love of a mate with unrivaled success. Success without a a life mate (male for me, but whatever floats your boat, lol) to share it with. No one to come home to and tell of your hard or great day. No one to kiss goodnight or explore your freakiest desires with and fall asleep in each others arms. You'll be on top of your professional game. No stress about your mate lying to you about anything or cheating on you. Working without the painful knot in your throat and chest because of a stupid argument or the feeling of being betrayed.
So which will it be? Love or success? Red pill or blue? Love with somewhat success or fighting tooth and nail to get the success you deserve, or success without the hastle of love and getting what you worked so hard for without being held down for the fear or marriage and babies.
While the babies aren't such a bad thought, the rest I'm not too sure about. Then I think about the fact I already have one child and while I do want more, I know I've been blessed to have her. Then as for a relationship, I've had a few with obvious turnouts. But none as bad as the one where I was in love. Love hurt me so bad and I am still feeling the effects of it. Sometimes it takes a moment to sucker punch me when I think I'm feeling a little better. Somehow I've managed to stay focused on my goals though. I don't know if that's because of maturity or repression, but it's working
So once again, which would or will I choose? Red pill or blue? Well I'm stil not sure, but for now I choose success. I have worked and am still working too hard to let some idiot sway me. See expecting untypical results from typical people is like loading a gun and expecting it not to shoot if the trigger is pulled. Highly unlikely. Degree or GED, they're all just people. People who do wrong because for some reason they feel they can wrong people without retribution. Well I'll let karma deal with that. And while I'm not looking for some superhuman being, I am looking for someone who not only knows right from wrong, but chooses to do right rather than wrong. But that's only when I'm ready to look, if I become ready to look again. Bottom line, Love sucks and the people who hurt you suck even more. And I don't care if you have 10 degree's, a sorry ass person is still a sorry ass person; just with education. Which is even more sad because of the blown potential.
I wish I didn't have to feel the way I feel, but it's my reality. So I'll take the blue pill if you don't mind and choose success. Maybe I'll reevaluate my position once I relocate for now this is where I stand.
So ladies, not whores and shiftless women, real ladies, which will it be? Red pill or blue? Love of success?
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