The Human Condition

The number one problem I've found with the human condition is the need for validation. That desire to understood, heard, or whatever you want to call it. This need, this desire, leaves us constantly in a losing battle arguing sides against one another. Hoping the other will take interest in what you're saying or feeling without drifting off into some mundane advice like 'chill out,' or 'the sun shall rise again.' Or worse, that other person somehow managing to take something that's on your mind and making it about them or turning your thoughts or opinions into the scene of a battleground. If there were someway to exist and truly not require anyone to understand or even relate to you, would relationships/friendships be possible? I'm not entirely sure but I do wish I never required anyone to understand my POV or how I'm feeling rather it be good or bad. Honestly rarely do people give you the reaction you hope for or need so why do we constantly make ourselves even more vulnerable to them at a time when we're most vulnerable? Seems foolish right? Or is it that vulnerability the thing that makes us humane? We are already lonely souls wandering hoping to find that connection with that one person only to find that doesn't exist, nor does finding that person always mean happiness. Its the differences we share that keep us interested in each other. The similarities only bring you together long enough to see that then they no longer carry as much weight. But this works for and against us. Those same things that have such a heavenly affect can also be kryptonite. It can be the very thing that adds gas to the fire. The reason being is when one person is expressing themselves to the other opinions are formed and shared. It might not be what the person wants to hear or they may feel it doesn't apply to their situation which results in opposing opinions. Now you have 2 people trying to be understood...validated by the other. Thus the argument is formed. I want to kill that desire for validation in myself. I don't want it anymore. I'm sick of being unheard, misunderstood, and I'm especially of being made out to be the bad guy or unreasonable. I hope it doesn't make me cruel or cold but I can't afford to care anymore. My stress is just that, MY STRESS. No one carries it with me nor does anyone ease it so why feel the need to express anything to anyone about anything for them to only not listen to you anyway. I'm over it. I never needed a shoulder to cry on because I've dried my own tears on those rare occasions they fell. People come to me for strength, not the other way around. They've done this because they know I can handle it. They know if there's a problem I can solve it or find out how. They know I will listen, hear, and understand them. I validate. Plain and Simple. I've always been OK with that but I've yet to come to grips to not having that reciprocated. But how can you lean on those who lean on you? How can you depend on those who depend on you? You can't. They're looking to you to have what they need despite your own problems and strangely enough I always have what they need or the how-to to get it. I think I just solved my own problem.