It started well before I was to wake up. My sleep was so disturbed I felt like I hadn't slept at all. Too much noise and the thunderstorm outside my window really worked against me. But that should have been my warning of the shitty day that was to come. I got to work this morning and discovered a coworker had committed suicide over the weekend.
Immediately I was overcome with grief...then I got angry because I knew she had to small children and a husband. I wonder what was so bad that she just didn't want to live anymore. I wonder what was she facing that she felt there was no possible way out........I guess you never really know until you're facing it. I just can't imagine purposely ending my life leaving my family like that. Its such a selfish thing to do.
After the long day finally ended at work I thought coming home would make me feel better but boy was I wrong. It just added to my frustration. It was such a nice day out that I wanted to work out and after realizing being home would not make me feel any better I damn near RAN to the gym. Too bad it didn't help much. I could not focus without my iPod but thats a whole other story.......I'm just in a bad mood. I hope this Paxil helps because as of right now I'm very unsettled. I need to find some peace or comfort.
I really need to be understood. I think that's most frustrating part but I don't want to get into it because it will only serve to further piss me off...I'm going to attempt this sleep thing again.
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