Bitter Black Bitch

I was driving to class today and my ipod began to play Diary by Wale. As always I was feeling the song and singing the lyrics along with both Wale and Marsha when I started to reflect on the honesty of the lyrics from both perspectives.

It caused me to think about how I react to men based on past experiences and I also recounted my friends experiences in love as well and I see the same pattern. Some are worse off than others but its a common experience.

This makes me feel bad for the good guys who come behind heartbreaks. They catch HELL in most cases. So many women feel like they have to make him prove himself that he won't treat them the same but that's not his responsibility. He shouldn't have to! You give the good guys hell and when most of them realize they don't deserve that bullshit you're giving them and leave. You charge him off as another man that did you wrong.

Don't you get it! You're doing just as much wrong as someone did to you. The behavior is cyclical. No one owes you a healing so stop looking for it in the next man. Jumping through hoops offers no healing and last time I checked, they also were not an indication of love. If you haven't noticed by now, some men will do a lot of good shit to get laid then transform back into their normal selves.

My point is a man's value in your life is what you make it. If you choose to make it a painful experience then that's exactly what ye shall reap. If you choose to engage in this partnership positively with a person then the potential is limitless. Now that's not saying be a fool. Any partnership should be based on mutual respect, communication and boundaries must be set.

Women, but more importantly, BLACK WOMEN! Let go of this bitterness! It's a turn-off and makes you seem more like a project than a companion. Your attitude and general lack of respect for men actually reflects a lack of respect for yourself. Being a bitchy black woman does NOT mean you're a strong black woman. Honestly, it means just the opposite. Anybody can hold a grudge and be angry because of what 'someone did to you'. Hello.....YOU ALLOWED IT! Being bitter because of it is weak. It takes strength to forgive and heal. It takes strength to move on and start again. That's the makings of a TRUE strong woman.

I'm going to end this here but pass it on to others. We need to help each other and it has to start somewhere.